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PurpleDawg

Christmas Thread 2018

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Starting it a little early so all you parents, grandparents, and others who buy toys can have this info. You're welcome!

 

Trouble In Toyland

33rd Annual Toy Safety Report

Over the past 30 years, our annual reports have led to more than 150 recalls of unsafe toys and other regulatory actions. This year we continued to find dangers among some of the most popular toys in the country.

 

This year’s investigation uncovered slime products with toxic levels of boron, and a failure by Amazon to appropriately label choking hazards. We also found a toy that could cause hearing damage and highlighted smart toys that have cyber-security issues.

 

The continued presence of hazards in toys highlights the need for constant vigilance on the part of government agencies and the public to ensure that children are not harmed by unsafe toys.

https://uspirg.org/feature/usp/trouble-in-toyland

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I was sickly for the past few days and ended up watching some way too many Hallmark Christmas movies.

 

In the world according to Hallmark...

1. There is a large supply of 30-ish, pretty, unmarried, unattached, unfulfilled women usually living in cities doing jobs they  think they really like or that seem important but really are not.

2. There is a large supply of 33-40 year old mainly widowed but sometimes separated men with precocious 10-15 year old children who just love doing family stuff together but do miss mom living in small towns.

2.a The death rate among young 20-something mothers in small towns appears to be extremely high for some reason. Bad medical care/availability? The replacement moms never seem to be aware of this health care problem.

3. There is a large supply of said 10-15 year old children who want nothing more than for daddy to marry a new mommy so they can have a new mommy to love.

4. There is a large supply of happy small towns which decorate the whole town for Christmas and have all sorts of events for which the whole town comes out.

5. There are no black people in said happy, small towns. Nor Hispanic people. Nor Asian people. Let's not even think about Muslims. Some few exceptions occur, but they are pretty much invariably government employees like principals, social workers, etc. Only white people are apparently able to work in the private sector.

6. The magic of small towns and the lure of momless families aching for love appear to be able to overcome everything else in career-minded 30-ish successful female lawyers, producers, world traveling journalists, etc. such that they quit their old lives on the spot and move to River Crossing, Middleton, Lambton (Jane Austen must be turning over in her grave), Green Valley, etc., etc., etc. and start packing school lunches for the kids and dad to take to school and work.

7. Everyone--including single women working as waitresses in small town diners--lives in at least a half million dollar house. Then it goes up from there.

8. Every man and women wakes up in the morning with their hair perfectly coifed and lip gloss on--freshly applied in the night by elves or something I guess.

9. Large houses peopled by single women or by dad+10-15 year old children appear to all have top of the line cleaning robots even though we never see them.

9.a. Children clean up after themselves and do dishes in these houses. Oddly there seems to be a bit of a dearth of dishwashing machines in otherwise designer kitchens.

10. The most momentous sex act possible is a chaste kiss 2 minutes before the credits roll.

 

There's more, but talk about lack of reality contact!!! I have never actually watched a number of these before back-to-back-to-back before. What a new experience! And people say sci-fi is "unrealistic"!

 

I think I have identified why Trump was elected in 2016, and it has nothing to do with Fox, Breitbart, or Russians :o !

 

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On ‎11‎/‎23‎/‎2018 at 1:40 PM, NewfoundlandFreeFrog said:

I was sickly for the past few days and ended up watching some way too many Hallmark Christmas movies.

 

In the world according to Hallmark...

1. There is a large supply of 30-ish, pretty, unmarried, unattached, unfulfilled women usually living in cities doing jobs they  think they really like or that seem important but really are not.

2. There is a large supply of 33-40 year old mainly widowed but sometimes separated men with precocious 10-15 year old children who just love doing family stuff together but do miss mom living in small towns.

2.a The death rate among young 20-something mothers in small towns appears to be extremely high for some reason. Bad medical care/availability? The replacement moms never seem to be aware of this health care problem.

3. There is a large supply of said 10-15 year old children who want nothing more than for daddy to marry a new mommy so they can have a new mommy to love.

4. There is a large supply of happy small towns which decorate the whole town for Christmas and have all sorts of events for which the whole town comes out.

5. There are no black people in said happy, small towns. Nor Hispanic people. Nor Asian people. Let's not even think about Muslims. Some few exceptions occur, but they are pretty much invariably government employees like principals, social workers, etc. Only white people are apparently able to work in the private sector.

6. The magic of small towns and the lure of momless families aching for love appear to be able to overcome everything else in career-minded 30-ish successful female lawyers, producers, world traveling journalists, etc. such that they quit their old lives on the spot and move to River Crossing, Middleton, Lambton (Jane Austen must be turning over in her grave), Green Valley, etc., etc., etc. and start packing school lunches for the kids and dad to take to school and work.

7. Everyone--including single women working as waitresses in small town diners--lives in at least a half million dollar house. Then it goes up from there.

8. Every man and women wakes up in the morning with their hair perfectly coifed and lip gloss on--freshly applied in the night by elves or something I guess.

9. Large houses peopled by single women or by dad+10-15 year old children appear to all have top of the line cleaning robots even though we never see them.

9.a. Children clean up after themselves and do dishes in these houses. Oddly there seems to be a bit of a dearth of dishwashing machines in otherwise designer kitchens.

10. The most momentous sex act possible is a chaste kiss 2 minutes before the credits roll.

 

There's more, but talk about lack of reality contact!!! I have never actually watched a number of these before back-to-back-to-back before. What a new experience! And people say sci-fi is "unrealistic"!

 

I think I have identified why Trump was elected in 2016, and it has nothing to do with Fox, Breitbart, or Russians :o !

 

 

Have you seen Christmas Getaway on Hallmark?  It was very well done. 

 

This film is notable in that, at several points in the story, it appears that despite their obvious romantic chemistry, the protagonists will not, in fact, make a lifelong romantic connection. 

 

Spoiler

But at the end, they DO. 

 

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On ‎11‎/‎23‎/‎2018 at 2:40 PM, NewfoundlandFreeFrog said:

I was sickly for the past few days and ended up watching some way too many Hallmark Christmas movies.

 

In the world according to Hallmark...

...

 

Mrs. Duq eats, drinks, and sleeps that shit from about the week before Thanksgiving on.  Fortunately all the people are drop-dead smoking hot which makes it a little easier to machete through all the treacle ...

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1 hour ago, Newbomb Turk said:

 

Have you seen Christmas Getaway on Hallmark?  It was very well done. 

 

This film is notable in that, at several points in the story, it appears that despite their obvious romantic chemistry, the protagonists will not, in fact, make a lifelong romantic connection. 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

You've already retired, haven't you? :lol:

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15 minutes ago, Newbomb Turk said:

 

Do you see when I post?

Just generally, like everyone else. I've just noticed that you've been with us a lot more lately and I like it! I thought perhaps you have more time on your hands these days.

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3 hours ago, Newbomb Turk said:

 

Have you seen Christmas Getaway on Hallmark?  It was very well done. 

 

This film is notable in that, at several points in the story, it appears that despite their obvious romantic chemistry, the protagonists will not, in fact, make a lifelong romantic connection. 

 

  Reveal hidden contents

 

 

No.  Missed that one!

 

But I saw a trailer for one with a whole family of black people somewhere in the wilds of Wisconsin!  So some exceptions exist, I guess. 

 

 

 

 

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On 12/10/2018 at 10:35 AM, PurpleDawg said:

What does everyone want Santa to bring them for Christmas?

 

I'll go first. I'm pretty content with what I have, but I'd love a new audio system for my van with Bluetooth. Oh, and whirled peas...

 

Yes, Lawd...bring us whirled peas.....

 

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